Master and Commander - The Far Side of the Wall
by Keiichou
Summary: It is 1805, during the Napoleonic wars. Captain Erwin Smith of the HMS Surprise is ordered to pursue French privateer vessel Acheron to "Sink, Burn, or Take her a Prize." Erwin x Levi. Eremin. Jeanmarco. Crossover. AU.
1. First Encounter (Redux)

Master and Commander - The Far Side Of The World

major editing done, stuff added, please re-read :3 )

In the unnatural fog, a single bell tolled. Apart from the gentle ebb and flow of the ocean against the side of their creaking warship, and the uneasy murmur amongst the shipmen on deck, it seemed to be the only real sound.

Marco Bodt stood at the bow, squinting through the roiling mist. One hand dropped to his side and he pulled out a small, silver telescope, raising it to his good eye.

He scoured the fog for any sign of their target, shivering and stamping a foot to keep the cold from seeping into his bones. The mist dampened his uniform something terrible, he hated it.

Once he was off duty, he could beat to quarters, and-

"Oh-! M- Mr. Springer! Just now, t-two points off starboard!"

The Acting Third Lieutenant Connor Springer strode quickly to his side.

"What is it?" he questioned, running a dark hand over his shaved head as he did when he was uneasy.

Marco pointed into the all-obscuring, unholy fog.

"I thought I saw something, a shape!"

Mr. Springer, or Connie, as he was known to his friends, was quick to draw his own eyeglass.

"Christ, how can you see /anythin'/?"

After a few minutes of searching, the lieutenant sighed.

"Well. What do you want to do, Marco?" Connie asked, meeting his eyes. "You're officer of the watch. Make the call."

"I-it was only for a split second- I can't be /sure/," Marco replied meekly, staring back at the taller man.

Connie took one last look and sighed.

"Men, beat to quarters!" he called.

The bell rang, and the crewmen on deck started filing down to their hammocks.

At that moment, Captain Erwin Smith strode from his cabin, pulling on his hat.

"Where away?" he asked, approaching Springer and Bodt. First Lieutenant Eren Jäger followed just behind him, along with the captain of the Royal Marines, Sergeant Jean Kirschstein.

"Sighting in heavy fog. Bodt thinks he saw a shape. But I can't see nothing there, sir, I can't... And well, he does have the..."

Connie gestured to his own face, in reference to the significant burn scars Marco had sustained almost 5 years ago now that covered the right of his face and upper body. It had also cost him his eye, which lead to Connie doubting Marco's claim.

Marco stared at his feet shamefacedly, his freckled cheeks a touch red.

"Raise your head, Bodt. You did the right thing. You may return to your stations, now."

Jean Kirschstein often stood out in his red uniform, but now he subtly eased out of the group to leave with Marco, the two of them talking softly under their breath.

Erwin noticed, of course, but said nothing. Sailors did what they needed to do to bear through long voyages. As long as they did their jobs, he stayed out of it.

"Where did he say it was, Springer?"

"Two points off starboard, sir. Not a mile distant."

Captain Erwin raised his eyeglass and peered into the icy fog, already missing his warm cabin and hot coffee.

Endless...ungodly.

Then he saw an orange flash out of the corner of his eye. A second flash, followed by a faint boom.

Erwin's eyes widened.

"Down! All hands down!" he roared, as the cannonballs came rocketing overhead, smashing through ship and sail.

Chaos broke out.

Erwin landed heavily on the deck, rolled, and crouched beside the railing.

"Mr. Jäger, damage report, if you please!"

"Orders, Captain?!"

"Run up the starboard battery! Bring her about at pistol range! Sergeant," he shouted to Jean Kirschstein, "Get your men up top!"

This was her. /This/ was the Acheron, thought Erwin, and by god, she was a beauty.

The massive ship was becoming clearer now, an immense looming shadow far off.

It was quite a distance to be firing from, and Erwin knew they had to get closer.

The Acheron's guns were longer, stronger, and faster, it seemed.

But the HMS Surprise would fight.

"Get below!"

Erwin heard Sergeant Kirschstein trying to send Midshipman Bodt below decks.

He let them quarrel, off to make sure the Surprise was going as fast as she could.

There was a terrible splintering of wood all around them as the Acheron simply decimated the hull of the Surprise, ripping her to shreds.

She was now firing back, but their cannonballs weren't even putting a dent into the hull of the Acheron.

At that moment a cannonball shattered through the foremast, and with a great boom it came crashing down. Erwin didn't see it coming, and was smacked in the head by a heavy plank of wood.

It knocked him to the deck instantly.

When he awoke, his ears were ringing, and he had a blinding headache. Erwin had bitten his tongue, and blood leaked from a cut on his forehead. He could barely see straight.

The Acheron was close. Erwin grabbed his spyglass, and peering through it, he could distantly see le capitain de l'Acheron peering right back.

Could it...could that be a woman? She had striking blond hair, that much was obvious-

"Captain! Captain!" cried a voice, running to his side. Judging by the German undertones, it was First Lieutenant Eren Jäger.

"Sir, the rudder's gone! Blown clean off! The foremast is gone too, and we're taking on water fast. Many of the men are injured, sir!" Eren informed him anxiously.

"What are your orders?"

Erwin rubbed his aching forehead, trying to regain his equilibrium. "Prepare to repel boarders. Get the gun crews on decks. Rig man-ropes over the stern and pull in the boats. Eren, put us into that fog."

"Aye, aye!"

Sure enough, as the coxswains and a few other midshipmen launched the boats and began to row, they dragged the Surprise off into the fog, and Erwin directed them to the hidden shoals.

Little Kris Lenz, a tiny, effeminate lad, (or so she seemed) was captain's coxswain and leading the rowers confidently.

"Pull together, men! We're home inside that fog!"

"Pull for humanity's greatest!" called a women concealing herself under the name Peter Ral. "Nearly there!"

The crew scarcely dared believe it, but it became obvious after a while: They had escaped the relentless Acheron. They had survived.

The next hour consisted of plugging all the leaks in the ship, getting all the valuables out of the seawater, and tending to the wounded.

Erwin hurried below decks to see the damage, as the Surprise had opened up a seam.

"How are we?" he asked the ship's carpenter. He noted the seam had been plugged with oakum.

"Two feet, six inches, sir. And holding."

"Well done, Mr. Bozado."

"Thank you, sir."

Levi Ackerman, the ship's medical doctor, resident naturalist, and fond celloist, was going mad.

So many injured, so much blood.

The floor was slippery with it and they had to throw down sand so they didn't fall, and Levi muttered curses under his breath because the roof was leaking.

"Hanji! I need my clamps!"

"Oh, the clamps!" Hanji Zoë, surgeon's mate, exclaimed as he hurried to fetch them.

"I love when we get to use those!"

There was the sound of footsteps on sand-dusted stairs, and Erwin appeared.

"Levi."

The doctor glanced up exhaustedly at his dear friend.

"Erwin."

"What's the butcher's bill?"

"Nine dead, twenty-seven wounded."

Erwin closed his eyes, shaking his head a little.

He recognized a man sitting off to the side with bandages swathed around his head, groaning feebly.

"Hannes Kästner."

"I don't expect he'll see out the night," Levi commented with a frown. "He has a seriously depressed fracture of the skull."

"And on the table- is it...?"

"Ah, yes, little Lord Arlert."

14 year old lordling Armin Arlert was lying on the surgeon's table, trembling, and covered in a cold sweat.

Bright blue eyes opened when Armin heard the captain's voice, but they were clouded with pain.

"God...what's happened?" Erwin uttered as he looked the youth over. "His arm..."

"I'm about to perform surgery to amputate it. The cannonball shattered the bone and there is no blood running to what remains of his lower arm. Unless I take it off now, infection will set in. That means gangrene-"

"-I know what it means," Erwin snapped, touching Armin's sweat-soaked golden hair with a touch of tenderness.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, sir," Armin said hoarsely. "The laudanum has set in, s-so it doesn't hurt so much."

Erwin knelt beside him while Levi clamped the boy's arm.

"But are you not scared?" he asked of him.

Armin shook his head.

"I need to be strong like you, sir. Not only are you brave, but...if anyone c-can make me believe that I still have a future with this injury...it's you."

Erwin absently touched his own prosthetic arm. It was of cutting edge design; a sleeve of leather cradled his stump and smooth wood extended it into a hand. The hand had a little hook embedded in the palm, to pick things up.

He'd been diving, fifteen years ago, when a great white shark mistook him for lunch and made off with one of his arms.

Erwin hadn't put a toe in the ocean since then.

"Did you know," Levi broke in, "that I was the surgeon at hand when Erwin lost his arm?"

Armin's eyes glittered in amazement, and to some degree, relief.

"Truly?"

"He saved my life that day," said Erwin. "And probably once or twice since then. You're in good hands."

They gave Armin a bite stick while Levi set to work.

The crushed bone was removed, and the doctor cut through what remained with a scalpel and various other tools. It was an open flap amputation, because of the high risk of infection while on a ship.

Armin cried anyway. As brave as he wanted to be, no one could lose their arm without any fear at all. And he was so young.

Levi comforted him in his own manner by way of sharing the anecdote of what a poor patient Erwin had been, when Levi had to operate on him.

"Doctor Ackerman /is/ exaggerating," Erwin muttered while Hanji stitched the cut above his eye. "I did not wail and scream."

Armin was already passing out though, and didn't respond.

"I'm going to want a blood transfusion, for safety's sake," said Levi, turning to Hanji.

"When you're done there, get the B- off ice. I have to get back to work."

Erwin stood a full head and a half above Levi. He was not incredibly tall, but Levi was /very/ short.

The captain stared down at him.

"Is Lord Arlert going to be alright?"

Levi raised a sharp eyebrow.

"He'll pull through just fine, I think. I did my best; I know you were fond of his father."

"His father knew the life," Erwin replied. "It's his mother I'd worry about."

"No need to worry if they're both dead," Levi replied flatly. Erwin glanced down at the orphan and frowned.

"Now let me take a look at that brow of yours."

Erwin obeyed reluctantly, sitting on the step so Levi could tend to his injuries.

"Damn, she was good."

"Who, your last whore?" Levi sniped, black-humored as always.

Erwin ignored him.

"Hit us with a full broadside, came across our tail and took out our rudder. Unbelievably fine gunnery. And you have to wonder about her hull. Triple shotted at pistol range, no effect. Our shots wouldn't penetrate."

Levi began to stitch Erwin's wound closed.

"It's quite fortunate we had the fog then, isn't it? That was the only reason we got away."

Erwin sighed, remaining painfully still.

"Seven weeks of sailing, and she happens in darkness upon our exact position?"

Levi shrugged.

"The French have their spies, as do we."

Erwin raised a thick eyebrow at him.

"You're French, Levi. Should I be turning my eye towards you?"

This earned a scoff from the doctor.

"Because it's real fucking smart to be on the ship your people are planning to decimate. How long have I been in your service, Erwin?" he asked, being a little less gentle with the stitches.

"Ow."

"Or maybe you simply have a fetish for attractive French doctors such as myself, and by turning your eye you mean-"

"That's enough," Erwin cut in flatly. "I don't have time to be chatted up by you."

A smirk touched Levi's lips, and he moved on to treat more of the crew.

"Auro Bozado is confident in basic repairs. We'll be able to get home as we are."

"We're not going home," said Erwin, standing up straight and striding over to the map table. Setting a small magnifying device onto the table, he pointed to the map. "We shall refit at sea, where it shoals, do you see?"

Levi peered over, casting dark-ringed eyes on the magnified words 'Hidden Shoals'.

"To catch the Acheron, Erwin?" he asked dubiously.

"A ship like that could tip the balance of war in Napoleon's favor," Erwin explained, gazing intently at the map. "You know what we have to do."

"...She could be halfway around the Cape by the time we're repaired," said the doctor half-heartedly, knowing that Erwin was captain for a reason and trusting his judgment above all else.

"Well," Erwin said simply, "There's not a moment to lose."


	2. Secrets

The next day came about, and the fog cleared.  
Repairs were of utmost importance, and everyone was chipping in, working to smooth out broken wood and make rudimentary repairs so they could head back home.

At least, the crew assumed that was the plan.

"Reiner, stop /staring/ and help me fix up the figurehead," complained a gangly young man with skin of raw umber, chipping away at the splintered wood with a hammer and chisel.

The one called Reiner didn't take his eyes off the once-beautiful figurehead, now just shredded wood.

"Whoever this statue was made in the likeness of, I'm gonna find that girl, and I'm gonna marry her."

Bertholt rolled his eyes.  
"Can you stop fantasizing for one minute? At least help me restore her to her former beauty!" He wiped sweat off his forehead in exasperation.

Reiner was a muscular German man a little on the stocky side, with short blond hair and small blue eyes.  
"I just can't stand it... Not a single girl on this ship. The closest we've got is a bunch of androgynous girly-boys."

He hopped up onto the bow rail and climbed out to meet Bertholt, who was giving him an amused look.  
"Hey, if you're desperate enough...You really think they're all boys?"

"You know the rules, women can't be on ships. Bad luck," Reiner mumbled.

Bertholt smirked. "Right. And homosexuality is a crime. But our captain is pretty lenient, isn't he?"  
Reiner stared up at him, and scratched his head.

"Are you saying there's girls and homos on board?" he uttered, like he'd just been told the earth was round. Bertholt sighed.

"God, you're clueless, Reiner..."

They heard a clamor, and turned around to see a group of men all gathering around the entrance to the lower decks.  
The two, pushing and wiggling their way through, could see the doctor operating on Hannes, the man with the fractured skull who was by some miracle still alive.

Bertholt figured they were positioned there for the sunlight.  
Hanji the doctor's mate was assisting, and Bertholt could see right into the top of Hannes' head.

He heard the Royal Marines captain chuckle and turn to Marco.  
"Bet you five pounds, Kris Lenz'll hurl first."

"A fiver?" asked Marco, turning his unscarred side towards Kris. "He's not the toughest boy aboard but he's seen more than most. I bet Sasha'll chuck first."

"Sasha," mused Eren Jaeger. "Girly name, isn't it? Almost makes you wonder-"

"Not in Russia," 2nd lieutenant Mikasa Ackerman called back, then turned to peer down the hole again.  
"Are those his brains, doctor?"

"No," said Levi, moving a flap of skull and scalp out of the way.  
"Those're his brains."

Someone went running, and the choppy auburn hair revealed that it was Sasha Braus.  
Marco hissed out a yes and took his fiver from Jean.

"What are you all standing around gawking for?! Get back to work!" called Jean irritably, and the crewmen scampered. Erwin had just come from the infirmary, checking on Armin, to watch Levi and Hanji operate.

In the end, Hannes survived, but it turned out he would never speak again.

-

Later that night, Erwin had Sasha make him his coffee and had been reviewing any possible way that he could continue to pursue the Acheron.

A way sudden knocked on his door. "Come in," the captain called, and to his surprise, his coxswain and the carpenter's mate entered the room. They saluted and took their hats off.

"Misters Lenz and Nyström. What can I do for you?"

Krista Lenz stepped forward with her best friend Ymir.  
"Well, sir, I thought you might be interested," she said meekly, running a hand through hair of spun gold, cut boyishly short to aid her disguise.

Erwin saw the wooden item the second sailor was holding.  
"What's that?"

"It's the phantom, sir. Uh- the- the Acheron. Ymir saw her being built!"

She turned her gaze to her tall, skinny friend. Ymir had a dark complexion with an even darker sprinkling of freckles. Her simple brown hair looked like it had just been hacked off with a knife.

She was the complete antithesis of small, sweet, fair Krista, even in personality. Ymir had no breasts to speak of, so she passed a lot easier than some of the other girls.

"Yeah, uh...saw 'em buildin' 'er in Boston. I thought it might be helpful so I knocked ya up a model," she muttered, raising the small wooden boat towards the Captain.

Erwin's interest was piqued.  
"And the...framing...it's accurate, yes?"

Ymir nodded confidently. As the carpenter's mate, her judgement on such a matter could be trusted.

"Exactly accurate."

"You've done well. Braus, give these men an extra ration of rum."

Sasha instantly pouted as the two girls said their gratitudes and exited the room.  
"I was savin' it for Salutin' Day," she whined, forgetting to keep up not only her masculine demeanor for a second, but her carefully crafted upper-class English accent.

"We'll have wine," Erwin replied firmly, eyeing her. Sasha swallowed and nodded in obedience, though as she left she muttered, "Sure, wine on Saluting Day. Pffft."

-

"She's still vulnerable at the stern, like the rest of us. I'm going to her take her."

Levi glanced up at Erwin. He'd just endured a good ten minutes of sailor-talk, and it was damned ridiculous. He took another swig of rum to tide himself over.

"And," said Erwin, meeting his eyes, "She'd be full to the brim with gold."

"Do you think I'm going to tell you not to go after her?" Levi asked, raising a thin, dark eyebrow at him.

"Someone must attempt to be the voice of reason for me," Erwin mused. "Are you ready?"

Levi smirked, drawing his cello close. His delicate fingers, soft and slender as a woman's, began to pluck over the chords and elicit a deep thrumming sound.

"How's this?" he asked softly, facing Erwin with his legs spread around the cello.  
"Or...are you in the mood for something more aggressive?"

Erwin caught the innuendo, glancing away for a brief second in embarrassment.  
He said nothing, just as Levi expected, and joined him on the violin.

The sailors always complained, ("Never a tune you could dance to!") but the flawless, soothing rhythm of their duet was a peaceful end to a long day.

When Levi put his piece down, he met Erwin's eyes.  
"...Erwin.."

"Don't," the captain warned softly. "I can't."

"But that time-"

"Forget that time, Levi." The doctor approached his captain, extending a slender hand to touch his cheek.

"You don't- even a little?" Levi asked, no real emotion in his voice, but Erwin knew it was there.  
There was a long silence, then Erwin's eyes slid away. Levi knew he'd lost him.

"Not even a little. You are my close friend, nothing more. And if someone heard you saying such things...the ship has ears, Levi."

The brunet frowned, but Erwin would not be swayed.

"Now go to your cabin. Rest up. We're meeting with a trading group tomorrow."

Levi folded his arms, then stalked over to put his cello (bigger than he was) into its case.  
"We're getting older, my friend. How long will you continue to-"

"You know there is a woman I'm supposed to marry back home!" Erwin returned forcefully, and Levi made a face of disgust.

"You don't love her," he muttered.

"I don't make the laws back home," Erwin replied, his careful facade splitting slightly. "But I do make them on this ship. Now go to bed, damn it."

"You coward."  
"If I am a coward, sir, then at least I am a noble, law-abiding one!"

Levi scoffed, walking out without another word, and slamming the door behind him.

Jean Kirschstein reached out to Marco Bodt expectantly from where they were sitting on deck.  
"Pay up. He stormed out."

Marco pouted and handed the money over.  
"Like a proper old married couple, they are."

"If they'd just get over themselves and bum already, we wouldn't have to deal with their rows."

"No nonsense, stick-up-his-arse Erwin Smith? Don't reckon."

Then the bells rang, and they all proceeded to their hammocks below decks to rest for the night.


	3. Rendezvous

Pulling in to Brazilian port mid-morning, the sleepy atmosphere became one of vibrancy and liveliness, and there was a delicious smell of spices on the air.

It was trading time, where goods were exchanged. The Brazilians rowed out in their canoes and pretty women at the piers, which was always a joy for the men on board.

"Hey, pretty lady, how much for a kiss~?"

"Quanto cost-o kiss-o?"

2nd lieutenant Mikasa Ackerman leaned over the side to receive the crew's mail.

"Pretty girl, red scarf, lovely. I have?" A woman asked her, and Mikasa stiffened.

"I'm a man," she muttered, touching her scarf and glancing over at lieutenant Jäger. Eren was with Lord Arlert, who was up on deck for the first time since his amputation. He was all smiles, but Eren could see that it was mostly a facade.

A boy so young losing a limb...if there was a God, He was cruel.

"My scarf is not for sale," Mikasa muttered, starting to ravel it closer. Suddenly she felt a sharp tug, and looked down to see a dog with its teeth latched into the scarf, and there was a small tearing sound.

"Hey- stop-!"

"A dog!" squeaked Armin, peering over the edge at it.

"Ohh, it's just a puppy!" He glanced up at Eren, his eyes bright and hopeful.

"Can we- can we not have him?"

Eren leaned over the edge as well, watching Mikasa wrestle with it for her scarf.

"He hasn't got a collar. Maybe he's a stray?"

Mikasa looked up at him after yanking her scarf back.

"No, Eren, he'll just cause trouble!"

The German approached her, lowering his voice.

"Mikasa, after what Armin has been through, can't we just be nice to him-"

"We can hardly afford to feed ourselves, much less a growing dog. That thing's a stick, and it's probably got all sorts of awful diseases, and I bet it'll die anyway."

Eren frowned.

"Gott...Mikasa, you're cold. I mean, you're my friend, but look at poor Armin. He's shattered."

"The mutt ripped my scarf- the scarf you gave me," she protested, her oriental accent becoming more pronounced as her composure wavered.

Suddenly a shadow loomed over them, a shadow belonging to Captain Erwin.

"Do we have a problem, gentlemen?"

Eren straightened up and saluted, as did Mikasa.

"I want to get this dog for Armin, sir. He needs something to cheer him up!"

"Sir, really, a dog on board? Look how sickly it is."

Erwin glanced between them, then over at Armin. After a moment of thought, he sighed.

"I'm going to allow it. If the dog is sick, Dr. Ackerman will be able to provide adequate care."

Levi was overseeing the trade of medical supplies, and he gave a nod.

Mikasa visibly scowled, an unusual expression for her.

"Do you dislike dogs, Mr. Akamatsu?" Erwin asked Mikasa, and she shook her head.

"Not at all, s-"

"Lieutenant Akamatsu is a green-hearted sap desperate for Eren's attention," Levi drawled lazily.

"He is a fierce warrior, probably the best on this ship. Hold your tongue, sir," said Erwin, while Mikasa gave Levi a withering glare.

Eren was too busy getting the dog from a trader to pay attention.

Armin was overjoyed, and he hugged Eren tightly.

"Thank you, Eren. Thank you."

Eren was very red in the cheeks, still a hormonal youth himself, and Armin was very effeminate. He couldn't help but be attracted to the young boy he had grown so close to.

"Heh...w..watcha gonna call it?"

Armin held the wriggling pup in his arms, being slapped by its tail, and he beamed.

"Barky," he announced. "His name is Barky."

"Gangway for the mail, please!"

"You give arrows, I give axe."

"Thanks, mate."

"Mr. Springer, to me!" called Erwin, and Connie was there.

"My Portuguese is pitiful. What's this man saying?"

"...Senhor," chirped one of the Brazilian tradesmen, adorned with handsome facial tattoos that Connie was just a little envious of.

"Estava. Indo pela costa ao sul..."

"...He says a French man-of-war stopped here on the 15th, then headed south," said Connie, then thanked the man.

"A full three weeks ahead," Erwin said with a frown. "Mr. Jäger, let's get all this squared away!"

"Aye, sir," called Eren brightly. "Mr. Jinn, let's complete our business here!"

"All hands, prepare to weigh anchor! Get these provisions stowed."

"Reiner, put that woman down. This is a ship of His Majesty's Navy!" Bertholt called with a huff.

"I'll marry you one day, Maria! Don't forget about me!" called Reiner as he was yanked back up on board.

All in all, it was a good trade. They had received the materials needed to properly repair the ship and continue their pursuit of the Acheron, fresh supplies, and a lovely little puppy that entertained the crew quite sufficiently.

"To wives, and to sweethearts," Erwin announced, raising his glass of wine, a rich burgundy red.

The other officers chanted his phrase in turn as they raised their own glasses.

"May they never meet."

This drew laughter from his company, and then they began to dine on the meal for that night, a beef-steak dinner.

"Mmm, Mr. Braus has really been practicing his cooking," commented Eren happily.

"I'm just glad he stopped scarfing his face for a moment to actually cook," Connie Springer replied, taking a mouthful of gravy and meat. "Mmm~"

"Better than what the crew's having, no doubt," said Levi. "I've heard it's awful."

"Pickles and eggs," Eren joked. "I had my fair share as a midshipman."

"They have beef and salt pork, rice and wine, vegetables and biscuits…they do not lack terribly," Erwin replied a touch curtly. He would not stand hearing that he did not take care of his crew.

"We've got good food," said a burly older officer, but we don't got good women!"

"Forget the women," added another, puffing a cigar. "Can't live without food." It was officer Ariel Leventis, though he insisted on being addressed as Ari. He was young and handsome, Greek, and on his first voyage as a sailor, both his legs had been blown off by a pirate cannon, but he got around with prosthetics and walking aids. He couldn't stay away from the sea.

"Says the man who spends an awful amount o'time with Midshipman Genovich."

"Aw, leave Misha outta this," Ari shot back, irritably taking a bite of his steak.

"Back to women!" said the older officer, named Clive Waldis. "You happened to get a lovely letter from your intended, didn't you, Captain?"

Erwin, who had stayed clear of the discussion and had been chatting with Levi, glanced up. "…Why yes, I did."

At that moment, the letter was snatched from his jacket pocket and pulled out by Eren.

"/Eren!/" Mikasa snapped. "Put that back…!"

"Read it, read it, read it!" chanted the officers, and Eren hopped up on a chair, clearing his throat.

Erwin looked a tad distressed; he hadn't yet read the letter himself.

" 'I remember the day we met like it was just yesterday. I knew you were the one I would spend forever with. You took my heart in just a second with that handsome smile of yours…'" Eren paused to snicker, as the others chuckled.

" 'I couldn't ask for anything else in this entire world. I know we have barely seen each other, but I am looking forward to getting to know you and all the times we will have in the future! Let's get married the day after you return, in a beautiful church, and thank God for bringing us together!

The day you had to leave to go overseas is a day I will never forget, because that day, my love, you took with you my heart and soul.

This is a price I know I have to pay, I know there will be other times you will have to go away, and the pain will not stop until I have you back at my side. Fight for our country, my dear Erwin, and hurry back home to marry your fiancé!

Love,

Mary.' "

There was a sound of annoyance from Levi.

"If I'd known we were going to be reading stupid sappy love letters, I would have doused my head in a chamberpot beforehand," he hissed, getting up and heading for the door. Erwin sighed deeply, rubbing his forehead. Well, it could have been worse—

" 'P.S. A man came to your home, where I am now living. He said some strange things… I think he is a sodomite…' ? Er… 'But I know my precious Winny would never be so filthy…You are faithful to your wife, and I am forever faithful to you, my one and only! Stay safe!'"

Erwin's mouth fell slightly open, and there was an awkward silence. The implications seemed to go over the officers heads, but Levi had stopped in the doorway.

"…How odd," the Captain said calmly after a moment. "…Ah, and Eren…you'll be kind enough to take over the cleaning of chamberpots tonight, won't you?"

Eren blanched. "But /sir…!/"

"Now," Erwin replied irritably, returning to his dinner as the officers began to titter and make jokes about his wife.

Erwin couldn't look Levi in the eyes, and the doctor went for his own little walk after that. Outside, there was a happy commotion, the song of the pipe and fiddle lifting spirits as the crew danced about and drank rum on the deck.

Now there was a much nicer atmosphere than hearing about Erwin's needy, bigoted wife-to-be.

"Doctor, good to see you!" called Jean Kirschstein. Levi brushed his bangs from his eyes, took a bottle of good stuff, and downed a swig.

"Mmh. It's a nice night, tonight…." Not a cloud in sight.


End file.
